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Abuse is an
attempt to control the behaviour of another person. It is
a misuse of power which uses the bonds of intimacy, trust
and dependency to make the victim vulnerable. |
Table of Contents:
Characteristics of Abusive Men
The Types of Abuse
The Cycle of Abuse
How to Tell if You or Someone You
Know is a Victim of Abuse
The Cycle of
Violence |
Characteristics of Abusive Men
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Control |
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The
"overarching behavioural characteristic" achieved with
criticism, verbal abuse, financial control, isolation,
cruelty, etc. (see
Power
& Control Wheel). May deepen over time or escalate
if a woman seeks independence (e.g. going to school). |
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Entitlement |
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The
"overarching attitudinal characteristic" of abusive
men, a belief in having special rights without
responsibilities, justifying unreasonable expectations
(e.g., family life must centre on his needs). He will
feel the wronged party when his needs are not met and
justify violence as self-defence. |
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Selfishness & Self-centredness |
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An
expectation of being the centre of attention, having
his needs anticipated. May not support or listen to
others. |
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Superiority |
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Contempt
for woman as stupid, unworthy, a sex object or as a
house keeper. |
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Possessiveness |
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Seeing a
woman and his children as property. |
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Confusing Love & Abuse |
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Explaining violence as an expression of his deep love. |
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Manipulativeness |
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A tactic
of confusion, distortion and lies. May project image
of himself as good, and portray the woman as crazy or
abusive. |
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Contradictory Statements & Behaviours |
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Saying
one thing and doing another, such as being publicly
critical of men who abuse women. |
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Externalization of Responsibility |
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Shifting
blame for his actions and their effects to others,
especially the woman, or to external factors such as
job stress. |
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Denial, Minimization, & Victim Blaming |
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Refusing
to acknowledge abusive behaviour (e.g. she fell), not
acknowledging the seriousness of his behaviour and its
effects (e.g., it's just a scratch), blaming the
victim (e.g., she drove me to it; she made it up
because I have a new girlfriend). |
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| Serial
Battering |
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Some men
are abusive in relationship after relationship. |
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The Types of
Abuse include…
Physical:
hitting, punching, beating, slapping, pulling hair, use of
weapons, mutilation, burning, biting, murder
Sexual:
any forced sexual contact ranging from unwanted touching
to rape, harassment
Verbal:
threats, insults, name-calling, unjust blaming and
accusing, swearing, shouting
Psychological/Emotional:
withholding love, sympathy or
understanding, inadequate physical or emotional care,
isolation, intimidation, extreme jealousy, destroying
property, threatening to commit suicide
Financial:
stealing, withholding money and/or denying
access to employment opportunities, preventing access to
household financial information
Spiritual:
belittling a person’s spiritual beliefs or preventing them
from attending the church, synagogue or temple of their
choice
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The
United Nations (Commission on the Status of Women, 1993) defines
violence against women as:
"…any act of gender-based violence that results in, or is likely to
result in, physical, sexual or psychological harm or suffering to
women, including threats of such acts, coercion or arbitrary
deprivation of liberty whether occurring in public or private life."
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One out
of every four Canadian women will suffer some type of abuse during
her lifetime and every year, one in 10 Canadian women is physically
battered by her partner. Domestic violence and abuse occurs in all
socio-economic groups and cultural/religious backgrounds and it
affects women of all ages.
Domestic assault is a crime. |
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The Cycle of Abuse
Domestic violence (also called wife abuse, family violence and
partner assault) is rarely a one-time occurrence. It usually takes
place as part of a cycle that includes the following phases…
Tension-building stage:
Insults and other verbal attacks; minor abusive situations; victim
tries to be compliant, "walks on eggshells," and feels helpless;
atmosphere becomes increasingly more oppressive.
Violent episode:
Built-up tensions erupt into incidents ranging from severe
verbal/emotional abuse to physical/sexual assault and can last from
a few minutes to a few days, depending on the relationship. It is
during this time that a woman is most likely to be seriously injured
or killed by her partner.
Honeymoon stage:
Following a violent episode the abuser is usually contrite and
attentive; the victim once again recognizes the person she first
fell in love with and may be inclined to believe his promises to
change.
Unless there is some form of intervention,
the cycle usually repeats itself with the violent episodes
escalating in frequency and intensity.
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Are You – or is Someone
you Know – a Victim of Abuse?
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This website is an ongoing project
If you have any suggestions as to additional content
and/or notice errors or omissions in information please
contact kaleidoscope.design@rogers.com
Your help and feedback is
always welcome and can be important in assisting women
find the right resources.
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Abuse
Takes Place
