Table of Contents:
Developing a Safety Plan
What is a Safety Plan?
My Personal Safety Plan
What Can I Do Before a Violent
Incident
What I Can Do During a Violent Incident
My Child(ren's) Safety
What Can I Do When I Am Living In A
New Place
Safety In My Neighbourhood
How I Can Increase My Safety At Work
Safety With A Court Order
Emotional Well
Being
Safety for Women in Special Circumstances (Rural Women,
Women with Disabilities, Immigrant Women |
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Developing a Safety Plan
Leaving the abuse behind is
not a decision to be taken lightly. There are, of course,
many factors to be considered. We hope the information on
the sites collected will help you with your considerations
or, should you have already decided to leave, assist you
while preparing a safety plan.
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What is a Safety Plan?
Making a safety plan involves
identifying the steps you can take to increase your safety
and helps to prepare you and your children in advance for
the possibility of further violence.
This plan was adapted from information provided in several
Domestic Violence/Woman Abuse Safety Plans. In particular,
we have referred to plans developed by the Peel Committee
Against Woman Abuse, Kathy Cawthon, Metropolitan Nashville
Police Department and Women's Community House.
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My Personal Safety
Plan While I do not have
control over my abuser's violence, I can make myself and my children
safer by planning actions that will help us deal with the abuse.
I will use this plan as a guide and reminder to help me find ways to
be safe. If I am concerned that my abuser will find a printout, I
will write the points I believe apply to me on a separate piece of
paper and hide it in a safe place.
I will review and update this plan on a regular basis so that I will
be ready in case my situation changes.
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What I Can Do Before A Violent
Incident
If I believe my partner will be
violent, there are a number of things I can think about in
advance.
I can prepare to leave by doing some of the following
things:
I will keep a suitcase, box or bag
________________________________ where I can get to it
quickly and easily. In it, I will keep as many of the
following items as I can:
- An extra set of keys for the
apartment or house and vehicle
- Small bills and change for taxis
and telephone call
- Identification papers - passport,
social insurance card, birth certificates, immigration
papers, citizenship card, aboriginal status card
- Driver's licence and registration
- Health cards and children's
immunization records for myself and my children
- Divorce and custody papers
- Restraining orders, peace bonds,
any other court orders
- Bank books, cheque book, credit
cards, mortgage or loan papers
- Lease/rental agreement, property
deed, business or partnership agreements, rent or
mortgage payment receipts
- Address book
- Photograph of my (ex) partner to
help identify him/her
- A list of other items I can pick
up later
I can keep my purse, wallet, personal
identification, keys and other emergency items
__________________ in case I have to leave suddenly.
I can open a separate bank account in my name at
_______________. I will request that any statements be
sent to _______________ so that my abuser doesn't see
them.
I can also check to see how much money is in our joint
account in case I need to remove half the money quickly.
If my abuser knows my account or PINnumber,
I will ____________________________________.
I can help my children escape by telling them
_______________________________. I will teach them the
number of the local police _________________ and other
emergency numbers such as _____________________.
I will review and revise my safety plan every
____________________________.
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What I
Can Do During A Violent Incident
I must be able to think and act
quickly in order to keep myself and my children safe
during a violent episode.
Here are some things I can do to increase my safety.
I can make sure I can grab my clothes
and/or my children's clothes quickly by
_______________________. If my abuser asks me what I'm
doing, I will tell him/her_____________________________.
I trust ___________________ and ___________________ to
tell them about my situation. I will use the code word
_________________ to let them know I am in danger and to
contact police immediately.
I can use the code word ________________ with my
children so that they can protect themselves during a
violent incident.
I will look in each room and figure out the best way to
escape. I will try to stay out of places such as the
bathroom and kitchen if there is no outside exit. I will
also try to avoid places where weapons such as knives or
guns are kept.
On the main floor, the best way to get out is
_______________________________
On the second floor, the best way to get out is
______________________________
In the basement, the best way to get out is
_________________________________
I will use my judgment and intuition. If the situation
is very dangerous, I should consider _______________ to
calm down my abuser. I will remember that my first
priority is to keep myself and my children safe.
I will review and revise this safety plan every
_______________________
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My Child(ren)'s Safety
I know that the best thing my
children can do for me during a violent episode is to
get away and protect themselves. I can tell them to
______________________________ if they see me being
abused.
I can teach them to pick a safe room like _____________
, preferably with a lock and access to a telephone. It
is important to me and to them that they get out of the
room where the abuse is occurring as soon as possible.
I can tell them their most important job is to keep
themselves safe. I will explain it using these words
____________________________________________________
I will teach them how to call for help. If they cannot
safely get to a telephone in my home, I will talk to
them about using our neighbour's
________________________ phone or the nearest payphone,
which is located at ___________________________.
I will make sure they know they don't need money to dial
an emergency number. If I have a cell phone, I will
teach them how to dial 9-1-1 or other emergency number.
I will make sure they know their name and address if
they need help. If we live in the country, I will teach
them their address, including concession and lot number.
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I can rehearse
what my children will say when they call for help.
For instance, we can practice how to contact
the police like this:
Dial 911.
An operator will answer: "Police, Fire, Ambulance."
Your child says: "Police."
Then your child says:
My name is
______________.
I am ____years old.
I need help. Send the police.
Someone is hurting my mom.
The address here is _______________.
The phone number here is ______________.
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I can also tell my children about
Neighbourhood Block Parents program and how to use it.
The nearest Block Parent lives at
___________________________________.
I will pick a safe place such as ______________to meet
my children outside our home after the situation is safe
for me and for them (so we can easily find each other).
I will teach my children the safest route to the planned
place of safety for them.
We will review and revise our safety plan every
________________________.
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What Can I Do When I Am Living In A
New Place
I can increase security by
___________________________________________.
I may want to change the locks and put bars on the
windows if I think my (ex) partner has a key.
I will talk to my children and tell them to
_________________________________ if my (ex) partner
shows up.
I will teach my children how to dial police or ambulance
numbers. In my area, the number for police is
________________.
I will keep copies of any court orders with me at all
times. I will give copies of these orders to (school,
day care, police)
_________________________________________ and tell them
to call me if they see my partner. I will give these
people copies of my partner's photograph so they can
recognize him/her.
I can install a peephole my children can use. I will
tell them to ___________________ if my abuser shows up.
I can get these features installed on my telephone (call
blocking, call display, unpublished number, speed dial)
________________________to increase my safety.
I can block email messages from my partner or switch
Internet service providers. If my abuser can access my
email password, I can
__________________________________.
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I can have the
emergency numbers in my area ready by writing them
out.
Police
________________________________________________
Hospital
________________________________________________
Women's Shelter
________________________________________________
Crisis Line
________________________________________________
Children's Services
________________________________________________
Other Services
________________________________________________
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I can install fire detectors and
extinguishers on each floor. I will put them
_______________________________________.
Here are some other things I can do to increase my
safety __________________________
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Safety In My Neighbourhood
I will tell
_________________________ to call police if they hear a
fight in my home.
I will tell __________________________ who can and cannot
pick up my child(ren).
I can ask ______________________ to look after my children
in an emergency situation.
I can ask ________________________ to keep my emergency
escape plan items at their house.
I can switch banks, grocery stores and other services so
that I can avoid running into my abuser. I can go to
_________________ at different times than I did when I was
with my partner.
I may want to change my doctor, dentist or other
professional services if I think my partner may track me
down there. I will explain my situation to
________________.
I can make sure my name is not on my mailbox or in an
apartment directory.
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How I Can Increase My Safety At
Work
I can tell (my boss, co-workers,
human resource personnel) ______________ of my situation.
I can ask _____________________ to help screen my
telephone calls at work. I can also use voice mail to
screen calls.
I can block unwanted emails or send them to a folder where
I do not have to read them.
When I leave, I can ask ________________________ to walk
me to my car/the bus/the train to ensure my safety.
I can get a "call police" banner for my car to alert other
drivers.
If I run into problems on my way home I can
________________________________.
If I agree to see my abuser, I can go to a public place
such as ________________________ so that we will not be in
an isolated place.
Some other safety precautions I can take
are________________________________
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Safety With A Court Order
I can report to the police any
violations of the conditions of a court order. If the
police officer will not help me, I can report the breach
to the OPP Detachment Commander or the Chief of Police
in the area where the court order was violated. I can
get a copy of my partner's court order from the court
offices located at __________________________ and keep
it with me at all times.
If my partner destroys the order, I can get another copy
at _______________________
If I move to another town or district, I will notify the
local police of the court order, my new location and my
partner's history of violent behavior. I will do the
same thing if I often visit other
cities/towns/countries. The numbers I need to call are
______________.
I will tell the following people (boss, religious
leader, close friend, counselor)
______________________________________ about the order,
including all conditions.
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Taking Care Of My Emotional
Well-Being
I realize that I have been through a
lot and I may be feeling exhausted and emotionally
drained. I know that building a new life free of violence
takes a great deal of courage and requires a lot of
energy.
Here are
some things I can do to take care of my health.
I may choose as many of these options as I feel
comfortable doing.
- Attend as many Crisis Counselling
group sessions as I can.
- Become involved in community
activities to reduce feeling isolated.
- Take a part-time job to reduce
isolation and to improve my finances.
- Enroll in school to increase my
skills.
- Join support groups of other
women to gain support and strengthen my relationships
with other people.
- Take time for myself to read,
meditate, play music, etc.
- Spend time with people who make
me feel good and provide support.
- Take part in social activities
(e.g. movie, dinner, exercise).
- Take care of my sleep and
nutritional needs.
- Keep a personal journal to write
about my feelings, especially when I am feeling low or
vulnerable. I will keep it in a safe place or burn it.
- Take time to prepare myself
emotionally before entering stressful situations like
talking with my partner, meeting with lawyers, or
attending court.
- Try not to overbook myself -
limit myself to one appointment per day to reduce
stress.
- Be creative and do whatever makes
me feel good.
- Write something positive about
myself everyday - my own personal affirmations.
- I will not find my comfort in
excessive use of alcohol or food - it only serves to
increase my depression.
- Avoid excessive shopping and
impulse buying.
- Join a health club or start an
exercise program. It will increase my energy level and
sense of well being.
- It's OK to feel angry, but find
positive and constructive ways to express my anger.
- Remember that I am the most
important person to take care of right now.
I will review
and revise the sections of the
safety plan that apply
to me every __________________ to make sure I am on track.
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Safety for Women in Special
Circumstances (Rural Women, Women with Disabilities,
Immigrant Women
If I am concerned my partner will
track me down by long-distance telephone records, I will
find out the toll-free number of the closest shelter.
That number is ____________.
If I cannot leave my home because of
disabilities, I will contact __________________ to make
arrangements for transportation when my partner is not
there.
I do not feel comfortable speaking
English, so I will ask _________________ to translate or
help me find someone to talk to me in another language.
I can ask ___________________ if I
am concerned about my animals' welfare should I leave.
Here are some other things I can
do to feel safer
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
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This website is an ongoing project
If you have any suggestions as to additional content
and/or notice errors or omissions in information please
contact kaleidoscope.design@rogers.com
Your help and feedback is
always welcome and can be important in assisting women
find the right resources.
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